Could using words to build people up actually delight the heart of God?
Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with which you were marked with a seal for the day of redemption.
Ephesians teaches us that we can grieve the Holy Spirit by using words that tear people down. We can make God sad, so to speak. But can we give God joy? Could using words to build people up actually delight the heart of God?
When our words hurt our brothers and sisters in Christ and injure the body of Christ, the Spirit grieves. The idea that we can actually grieve the Holy Spirit surely will motivate us to avoid “evil talk” in favor of talk that edifies others.
But before we leave Ephesians 4:30, I want to ask a question that isn’t addressed directly in the verse but is something about which we might wonder. If our speech can grieve the Holy Spirit, is it also possible for what we say to give joy to God? If our hurtful words can sadden God’s Spirit, can our edifying words give delight to the Lord?
In order to answer this question, we need first to consider a broader question: Can we give joy to God at all? Can our words, deeds, thoughts, and choices give God pleasure?
I think many Christians would answer this question negatively. We know we can grieve the Lord. We’re quite convinced that our sin can make God angry. But God rejoicing in us? That seems like wishful thinking, the kind of pop theology that shows up on corny religious posters but has nothing to do with reality. God, for many of us, is a stern, demanding, imperious King who—if we’re really good and really lucky—will not be angry with us or grieved over us. The best we can hope for is that God will feel neutral about us.
This perception of God can be fueled by our experience of our own parents. My father, for example, loved me deeply and dearly. In most ways, he was a great dad. But he had difficulty expressing his positive feelings for me. He was not physically expressive. He rarely told me in words that he loved me. And never in my life did my dad ever say, “I’m proud of you.” Though I knew in my head that my dad delighted in me, I rarely experienced his delight in a way that touched my heart.
So, as you might expect, I easily project upon my Heavenly Father what I experienced from my earthly father. I know God loves me. I believe God will always be there for me. I know God would do anything for me (and, in fact, he has). But do I give God joy? Can I give delight to my Heavenly Father? This is hard for me to acknowledge and even harder for me to feel deep in my yearning soul.
Check out Psalm 149:4
For now, I’d encourage you to reflect on your own relationship with God.
For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation.
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