As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
This passage speaks with amazing succinctness and relevance to our lives today. We’re encouraged to ask: Am I really living my life in Christ?
The New Testament book we call “Colossians” is a letter from the Apostle Paul to “the saints and faithful brothers and sisters in Christ in Colossae” (1:2). Paul was not the one who planted the church in this city in Asia Minor (modern-day Turkey). Rather, it appears that a colleague of Paul named Epaphras did the church-planting honors in Colossae (Colossians 1:7), perhaps also in the nearby cities of Laodicea and Hierapolis (4:12-13).
From what we read in Colossians, the Christians in that city were doing well overall. The gospel that came to them through Epaphras was “bearing fruit among [the Colossian believers] from the day [they] heard it and truly comprehended the grace of God” (Colossians 1:6). It does appear, however, that the Colossian Christians were being harassed by teachers who sought to “take [them] captive through philosophy and empty deceit” (2:8). These false teachers attempted to draw the Colossians away from focusing on the uniqueness, deity, and adequacy of Christ (2:4, 8-19, 2: 23). In particular, they were imposing upon Christians various Jewish ceremonial practices as well as other peculiar things, such as the “worship of angels” (2:18).
Paul responded to the false teaching in Colossae by underscoring the uniqueness and centrality of Christ, who alone is “the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation” (Colossians 1:15). Christ alone is the one through whom God “was pleased to reconcile to himself all things” (1:20). Thus, those who “have received Christ Jesus the Lord” should “continue to live your lives in him” (2:6).
Living in Christ involves seeking the things of Christ (Colossians 3:1). When we do this, we “put to death” the earthly, sinful parts of ourselves and our behavior (3:5-8). When we received the grace of God through Christ, we “stripped off the old self with its practices” and “clothed [ourselves] with the new self which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator”
(3:9-10). It’s likely that the language of stripping off and putting on had its origin in 2:11-15. When people said “Yes” to the gospel, they took off their old identity and lifestyle so that they might clothe themselves with a new identity and way of living, one defined by their relationship with Christ.
This act of putting off and putting on happened decisively in the past when the Colossians first received God’s grace in Christ. But that wasn’t the end of the process of putting on. Those who believe in Jesus have more clothing to wear. Thus, Paul writes, “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion. . . Above all, clothe yourselves with love . . .” (Colossians 3:12, 14). What we find in Colossians 3:12-17 is our new wardrobe, which we are encouraged to put on as we seek to live with Christ as the center of our lives.
Before we begin our investigation of this rich passage from Colossians, let me invite you to do a couple of things. First, go ahead and read all of Colossians 3:12-17. Read it slowly, perhaps several times. See what strikes you, what you wonder about, what speaks to your life today.
God’s relationship with you tells you who you are. You are chosen, holy, and beloved.
God’s relationship with you tells you who you are. You are chosen, holy, and beloved. The more you remember this, the more you define your identity by who you are in Christ, the more you’ll be ready to put on his “clothing” and live in his way.
In the classic 1994 film The Lion King, Simba has failed to take his place in the circle of life. He is the rightful king of his land but is hiding in shame, fearful of accepting his rightful sovereignty. A turning point in the movie comes when a vision of Simba’s deceased father, Mufasa, appears to Simba. Mufasa tells his son that he should become king. When Simba hesitates, Mufasa, sounding very much like James Earl Jones, says, “Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember who you are.”
If the Apostle Paul had seen The Lion King, he might have quoted Mufasa when writing to the Colossians. As he begins his concise exhortation in chapter 3, verses 12-17, Paul says, “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves . . .” If the Colossians are to clothe themselves with a fully Christian way of living, first they need to remember who they are. They are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved. When they remember who they are, then they will be ready to live who they are.
Who are they? And, by implication, who are we? Verse 12 discloses that we are “God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved.” First of all, we are people God has chosen. God wants to be in a relationship with us. God wants us to participate in his work in the world. Though we enter into that relationship by receiving the gospel in faith, at a deeper level of reality God has chosen us. As it says in Ephesians 1:4, God “chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world.”
Second, we are holy. This does not mean we are perfect. Nor does it mean we are outrageously religious. Holiness, in the Bible, has to do with being set apart for God. We are holy because God has set us apart from what is common and ordinary so that we might be in a relationship with God as well as engaged in God’s mission in the world. We see an illustration of such holiness in the Gospel of Mark when Jesus “called to him those he wanted . . . And he appointed twelve . . . to be with him, and to be sent out to proclaim the message” (Mark 3:13-14). Notice that the disciples are not only workers in Jesus’s kingdom mission. First of all, they are to “be with him.” Holiness involves being set apart for a relationship with God and then participation in God’s work.
Third, we are “beloved.” The Greek reads literally, “having been loved.” It’s clear that the agent of this love is God. Not only has God chosen us, not only has God set us apart, but also God has loved us in Christ. And God continues to love us. This love is not dependent on our being unusually lovable. We are not beloved by God because we have done such an amazing job of loving God first. Rather, God’s love, like God’s choosing, is an expression of God’s sovereign grace.
Even Simba in The Lion King needed first to remember who he was before he accepted his destiny to be king, so we need to remember who we are before we put on the “clothing” of Christ. We don’t try to be good Christians in order to earn God’s favor. Rather, we live out who we are because God’s favor has been given to us through Christ.
It’s wonderful to be chosen, set apart, and loved. This is true, not just in our relationship with God, but in other relationships as well. As a pastor, I’ve heard many engaged couples share the joy of being loved by someone special. So, as I said, it’s wonderful to be chosen, set apart, and loved.
We tend to define our identity with reference to a variety of things. Many of us would define ourselves mainly by our work: “I am a teacher. I am a lawyer. I am a pastor.” Others would point to family relationships: “I am a mother. I am a daughter. I am a grandfather.” Still others of us would let our accomplishments tell us who we are: “I got straight A’s. I built a successful business. I am a decorated veteran.” Seeing ourselves in light of such things is not necessarily wrong, but if they give us our fundamental sense of self, then we have lost touch with what matters most. And what matters most of all is how God relates to us. God gives us our core identity.
According to Colossians 3:12 – and so many other passages of Scripture – you have been chosen and set apart by the God who loves you. In fact, God loves you with a unique love that will not let you go (Romans 8:37-39). God’s relationship with you tells you who you are: chosen, holy, and beloved. The more you remember this, the more you know who you are in Christ, the more you’ll be ready to put on his “clothing” and live in his way.
Scripture says we’re to “clothe ourselves” with “compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.”
People loved by God are to act distinctively in the world. Scripture says we’re to “clothe ourselves” with “compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” Those qualities won’t help you get giant numbers on Twitter or a highly competitive job. But they will help you be more like Jesus. And they will demonstrate the fact that your identity is based on the God who loves you more than you’ll ever fully know.
As a child, I went to a strait-laced church and dressed the same way.
In the late 60s, this began to change. Young adults by the thousands flocked to Hollywood. Known as Hippies, Street People, or Flower Children, they lived on the streets or in flophouses. They dressed in a strikingly counter-cultural way, featuring ragged bell-bottom jeans, tie-dyed shirts, and long, stringy hair. You might have expected my strait-laced church to discourage these street people from attending services, given their outrageous clothing. But the opposite was true. Churches reached out to the people in the streets, providing places for them to sleep, building a coffee house for them, and even welcoming them into our worship services. All of this I found quite amazing.
In his letter to the Colossians, the Apostle Paul told them to dress in a shocking counter-cultural way. No, he didn’t commend dirty Levies and flowery t-shirts. But he did tell the Colossian Christians: “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12). We may read this instruction without wincing because it’s in the Bible and the Bible is so familiar. But it’s hard to overstate just how utterly counter-cultural these “items of clothing” were. In the first-century Greco-Roman world, nobody aspired to such things as compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. They wanted to honor and acclamation. They sought power and personal advantage. It’s hard to imagine something less like the Roman Empire than Paul’s list of “clothing” in Colossians 3:12.
Unless, of course, you’re thinking about contemporary American culture. Yes, to be sure, there are plenty of moving counter-examples. But, for the most part, would you say that people in our day seek to live with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience? You’re not going to find these virtues in the mission statements of most companies. They’re not going to be featured on the platforms of either major political party. And you’re not going to find these qualities featured in the next superhero film (though one or two show up occasionally). If you put on your resumé that your strengths are compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, good luck getting a job!
Now, you may want to object and say, “Wait! I know somebody who fits this description.” Truly, there are such people. I’ve known a few myself. So, I’m not saying it’s impossible today to put on the moral clothing Paul commends in Colossians 3:12. But I am saying it goes counter to the tide of our culture, and therefore it won’t be easy.
I don’t have time here to investigate the meanings of each of the five words Paul uses in this verse. What you read in the NRSV is trustworthy. Other translations are quite similar:
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience (NIV, CEB)
compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience (ESV)
compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline (Message).
So, without digging into the Greek originals here, you can get a good sense of what Scripture is telling us to put on.
Now comes the fun part . . . or, well, the hard part. Once we know what these words mean, more or less, it’s time to take a good, long look at ourselves. Are we wearing this counter-cultural clothing? Are we doing so at home? At work? In our community? In our public engagements? In the way, do we talk about those with whom we disagree? In our social media posts? In our hearts before the Lord?
As I think about my own life, I can see glimpses of hope. There are times when I am compassionate, and my compassion can sometimes lead to kindness. (Of course, there are other times, too.) But honestly, I struggle most with patience with adults, not children because when a child runs in the street you go get it when an adult runs in the street you know to do what? To look both ways. this is what we are taught from a child. So, if I’m going to learn to be patient, I’ll need the counter-cultural example of Jesus to inspire me, that’s for sure. And I’ll need the indwelling guidance of the Holy Spirit, not to mention a community of Christians seeking to put on the way of Jesus each day.
The Bible says we’re to put up with each other. This doesn’t mean we tolerate actual sin or true injustice.
The Bible says we’re to put up with each other. This doesn’t mean we tolerate actual sin or true injustice. Rather, we’re to put up with each other when it comes to things that bug us, to matters of taste or preference, to behaviors that aren’t wrong, only bothersome. In a culture that prizes criticism and canceling, putting up with people will feel profoundly counter-cultural. But that’s what it means to treat others with kindness and patience.
According to the New Revised Standard Version, as God’s special and beloved people we should “bear with one another” (Colossians 3:13). Now, I think we know basically what “bear with” means, but we don’t talk like this very often in ordinary speech. In our part of the world, we say “put up with” rather than “bear with.” Just for fun, I checked Google’s Ngram Viewer (which counts word frequencies). “Put up with” is about four times more common than “bear with,” though “bear with” shows a slight recent uptick while “put up with” shows a slight decrease in usage. For even more fun, I checked the word “forbear,” which appears in the King James Version of Colossians 3:13 (“forbearing one another”). Around 1800 it was way more common than either “bear with” or “put up with.” But “forbear” has fallen steadily since then, and today is on the level with “bear with.”
You may wonder if this study of word usage has a point, or if I’m just enjoying my peculiar fondness for words. In fact, I do have a point. It seems to me that “bear with” makes what’s required of us seem rather archaic and unreal, perhaps even noble. Bearing with someone feels like the sort of thing they do on Downton Abbey. But putting up with? Now that’s altogether different. Putting up with people isn’t any fun at all. It can be unpleasant. It’s hard work that we don’t especially like to do.
Instead of “bear with,” the New Living Translation has “make allowance for each other’s faults.” But this, I think, misses the point. Faults, especially moral ones, are things needing forgiveness. That comes next in our passage. But I don’t believe Colossians 3:13 wants us to put up with people’s faults so much as their preferences, their peculiarities, their oddness—their behavior that isn’t wrong, but bothersome. If, for example, you’re wearing a shirt that I find to be ugly, that’s not really a fault on your part. It’s a matter of opinion or taste. Perhaps you like your shirt. Someone wearing what I believe to be an ugly shirt is something I need to bear with or, more commonly, put up with.
We’re not very good at this sort of thing, are we? Even if we appear to put up with things that others do that bug us, we tend to grumble about them to ourselves and gossip about them to others. Social media exacerbates the problem, encouraging us to criticize, condemn, or cancel anybody that we don’t like.
I’m sad to say that church members are often pretty bad at putting up with things. If they don’t like the style of music in worship, they’ll let you know. A friend of mine who always dressed appropriately when leading worship consistently heard from members of her church that her clothing was someone deficient. It was the wrong color or style or, well, you name it.
I’ll freely admit that putting up with folks is not my strong suit. I like what I like and dislike what I dislike. I tend to accept it better if it comes from a chain of command, a leader. If you indulge in things I dislike, then I’m not naturally inclined to pretend it’s okay. I may not say anything to you, but my blood pressure will rise and my intolerance will blossom.
Yet, the Bible says we’re supposed to put up with each other. We’re supposed to tolerate in others the things that irk us. If folks in my church like worship music that isn’t my favorite, I need to find a way to be okay with that. And if some of my sisters and brothers have political opinions different from mine, that’s another occasion for putting up. Putting up isn’t only a matter of behavior, by the way. It’s a matter of the heart. I need to be okay with those who think, feel, and act in ways I don’t appreciate.
How in the world can this be possible? What will help me to put up with people? One answer comes from the verse in Colossians right before the command to “bear with” or “put up.” You’ll remember that verse 12 reads, “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” This verse reminds me that the people I need to put up with are God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved. Before I see the things about them that bug me, I need to see them as people special to the God who loves them as much as he loves me. That will get me moving in a “putting up with” direction.
Moreover, if people are perturbing me without sinning, then I have a perfect opportunity to clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. In fact, these qualities are exactly what is required if we’re going to have to put up with people. In other words, putting up with is something that follows logically from the qualities mentioned in verse 12. This fact is somewhat obscured in the NRSV translation, which begins verse 13 with a new sentence: “and patience. Bear with one another ...” The Greek reads literally, “clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, putting up with one another and forgiving each other . . .” (Colossians 3:12-13).
I’ve admitted that I’m no fan of putting up with people. It takes hard spiritual and moral work for me to do this. But here’s something I find quite wonderful about the command to put up. It’s not just for me. It’s also for you. It’s for the people in my family, workplace, and church. Even as I’m supposed to put up with them, they’re supposed to put up with me. And this, I suggest, can be quite pleasing. To know that you’re loved and accepted in spite of the things about you that are odd or even unpleasant is very sweet, indeed.
According to Colossians, when someone bugs us, we’re to put up with them. But when somebody actually sins against us, we’re to forgive.
According to Colossians, when someone bugs us, we’re to put up with them. But when somebody actually sins against us, we’re to forgive. In fact, we’re to forgive others as the Lord has forgiven us. This can be a tall order sometimes, to be sure. The ability to forgive comes as we experience more deeply God’s forgiveness for ourselves. Plus, God’s Spirit helps us to forgive when we lack what is needed to do so. The more we know God’s grace for us, the more we’ll be able to give grace to others through forgiveness.
I explained that “putting up with” has to do with responding to things people do and say that are not actually wrong, but just displeasing to us. According to Colossians, we need to put up with things in others that we do not prefer or appreciate. This is one essential element of “putting on” the clothing of Christ as people, chosen, holy, and beloved by God.
But what should we do when someone treats us in a way that is actually wrong? In this case, something more than putting up with is needed. That’s exactly what we find in Colossians 3:13, which reads, “Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” The word “complaint” in this case assumes that the “complainer” has good reason to be offended. Someone has treated this person in a sinful way. Therefore, forgiveness is required, not forbearance.
The verb translated in verse 13 as “forgive” is charizomai in Greek. It’s closely related to the Greek word for grace, charis. Why should we forgive (charizomai) each other? According to Colossians, because the Lord has forgiven (charizomai) us. God has shown grace to us through Jesus Christ, forgiving us when we were not worthy. Similarly, we are to show grace to each other.
The connection here between forgiveness we receive from the Lord and forgiveness we give to others reminds me of a parable of Jesus. In Matthew 18:23-35, Jesus tells the story of a slave who owed a massive amount of money to his master. When the slave begged for mercy, the master forgave the huge debt. But then, when someone owed this slave a modest sum, the slave was unforgiving and threw the debtor in jail. The master, shocked by his slave’s lack of grace, handed him over to be punished. Jesus concludes, “So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
Now, it’s important to say that forgiveness does not necessarily erase the need for justice, restitution, and reconciliation. If a fellow Christian has robbed you, that person may very well serve time in jail and should endeavor to repay you. The mending of your relationship will take serious work. But your act of forgiveness is not dependent on that person’s effort to make things right. Rather, you forgive because you have been forgiven. The forgiveness you receive from the Lord supplies both your motivation for and your model of forgiving.
Forgiveness is in short supply these days. (So, for that matter, is repentance, but that’s a different story.) People who have been wronged often hang onto the offense and the pain, believing that these will protect them from future hurt. But, in fact, unforgiveness wounds the one who holds it, hardening our hearts and even turning us away from God’s grace. As Jesus says in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” When we have hardened our hearts, we can’t receive the grace God wants to give us.
I’m not suggesting that forgiveness is easy, mind you. When someone has sinned against you in a way that is painful and damaging, forgiving is indeed difficult. But God helps us to forgive. God’s Spirit will stir within us, giving us a supernatural desire to give grace to the one who hurt us. Moreover, God will help us to know who we truly are as “chosen ones, holy and beloved” (Colossians 3:12). The more we recognize how much God cares for us, the more we have an intimate relationship with God, the more God’s love for us is poured into our hearts, the more we will be able to forgive even those whose offense can feel unforgivable.
The case of Corrie ten Boom, a Dutch Christian woman who, along with her family, was imprisoned by the Nazis because they had been seeking to hide Jews from detention. Corrie witnessed the death of her beloved family members and, therefore, had an understandable hatred for the guards who treated them so terribly. Yet, after the war, when facing one of those guards, Corrie remembered how Christ had forgiven her and asked for help to forgive the guard. As she extended her hand to this man in obedience to God, she felt overwhelming love. Writing about this experience in her book, The Hiding Place, she says, “And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on [Christ’s]. When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself” (p. 247).
If you’re struggling to forgive someone who has hurt you deeply, what I’m saying here might seem simplistic and insensitive. I get that. I know how hard it is sometimes to forgive. And, as a pastor, I’ve prayed with many who have wrestled with forgiving people who have wronged them greatly. I know that forgiveness is often a process that takes lots of time, healing, courage, and grace. Having said this, I do believe that we are called to forgive, even when it’s hard. Doing so unifies and strengthens the community of Christ, and it also allows us to live with greater freedom and joy as God’s chosen, holy, and beloved people.
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