Truthfulness begins with our being honest with ourselves.
So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another.
Ephesians 4:25 is quite clear about the need to put off falsehood and speak the truth. But, in ordinary life, we often find ourselves in situations where telling the truth would be painful, even potentially damaging to our relationships or our career. So what are we supposed to do? One thing we can do is to take a good, long look at ourselves and our speaking. Are we committed to truthfulness? Or do we often compromise, resorting to saying what isn’t true for our personal gain? Truthfulness begins with our being honest with ourselves.
We began to examine Ephesians 4:25: “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” I expect that most of us find this instruction to be rather obvious. Who would defend lying? And who wouldn’t be in favor of telling the truth?
But then reality rises up. A colleague at work asks, “How did you like my presentation?” In fact, you thought it was weak, but if you tell the truth it will make things at work very messy. It seems much better to say, “Oh, it was great,” while secretly crossing your fingers. Or perhaps your husband says to you, “Are these pants too tight?” and you know that saying “Yes” will make him feel horrible about his expanding waistline. (Not that I have any personal experience of this problem, mind you.) In situations like these and so many others, it seems best to say anything other than the truth. Are we really supposed to get rid of all falsehoods and speak the truth? Really? Wouldn’t be better to embrace our inner Pinocchio, at least some of the time?
I’ve been getting questions like this for a long time. In 2002, I preached a series on truthfulness. Each week, I wrestled with the challenge of living and speaking truthfully. I often received post-sermon comments that went something like this: “I hated that sermon. I needed it. But I hated it.” I understand these concerns, because just like everyone else I struggle with what it really means to tell the truth in situations where lying seems so much more convenient.
I’m not going to settle these issues here. I admit that there are certain instances in which telling the truth seems utterly counterintuitive. But what I find telling is how quickly, when reading Ephesians 4:25, our minds race to defend our lack of truthfulness. Rather than thinking, “Hmmm. I wonder how I can put this into practice today?” we often think, “Hmmm. How can I avoid the obvious implications of this instruction?” We rush to think up extreme examples in order to let ourselves off the hook. If people were right to lie to the Nazis about the Jews hidden in their cellars, then I may think this gives me the right to keep wearing my garment of falsehood at work, at home, in my neighborhood, and among my friends.
While I know there are some tricky problems associated with truth-telling in certain situations, I want to encourage you–indeed, urge you–not to let this fact keep you from confronting what is real in your life. If you’re like most Christians I have known, you are much more comfortable with falsehood and much less committed to truthfulness than you might at first think. Don’t let extreme examples keep you from taking a good hard look at your life–so that, by God’s grace, you might strip off fibbing and put on the glorious garment of truth.
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