Why should we forgive others?
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.
Why should we forgive others? What reasons are there to forgive? Well, for one thing, the Bible tells us to do so. But, beyond this, forgiveness is one way we can show kindness to others. Also, when we are tenderhearted, when we feel compassion for people, we may be able to understand why they do things to hurt us. This doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it may help us to forgive them.
Have you ever wondered why you should forgive someone who wronged you? I expect you have. I know I have. There have been times in my life when someone has deeply hurt me. I didn’t want to forgive and I wondered why I should. Holding onto unforgiveness can feel so safe, even so justifiable. Forgiveness seems to require opening myself up to being hurt again, which is the last thing I want to do.
So, what reason is there for forgiving someone who wronged you? If you’re a Christian who seeks to live according to biblical guidance, then there is a simple answer to this question. You should forgive because the Bible says so. Ephesians 4:32 makes this clear, even though the command to forgive comes as a participle (“forgiving”) following the main imperative (“Be kind”) Other passages in Scripture make a similar point (see, for example, Matthew 6:12-15; Luke 6:37; Colossians 3:13).
But Scripture doesn’t merely command us to forgive and leave it at that. God’s word also provides a rationale and a motivation for forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 reads, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” In this verse, forgiving is an expression of kindness. As followers of Christ, we are to be people who treat others kindly just as God has treated us kindly. One way to do this is by forgiving them when they have wronged us.
Moreover, we are to be compassionate, which may also help us to forgive. When we see people as one-dimensional wrongdoers, we might find it hard to forgive them. But if we get inside their shoes, indeed, inside their hearts, we may be encouraged to forgive. I think, for example, of a man in my church in Irvine who sometimes said mean things to me. His behavior was not right. Yet I knew that he had been hurt by the far worse meanness of his own father. He was acting out of pain that was deeply embedded in his memories. When I allowed myself to feel the struggles of his wounded heart, I found it easier to forgive him. This didn’t excuse his behavior. He wasn’t merely a helpless victim, but someone who was making poor choices. Yet his choices were a reflection of his brokenness, brokenness for which I felt truly sorry.
Why should you forgive someone who wronged you? Because Scripture commands it. But also because you are to show kindness to others and to feel compassion for them. Kindness and compassion not only require forgiveness but also help us to do it. Yet this is not the whole story. Tomorrow we’ll continue to think about another reason to forgive. Stay tuned.
Why should we forgive people who wrong us?
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.
Why should we forgive people who wrong us? One of the most persuasive reasons for forgiving is that God in Christ has forgiven us. God’s forgiveness provides us a rationale, a model, and motivation to forgive. The more we experience how God has forgiven us, the more we’ll be able and even eager to forgive others.
Why should you forgive those who have wronged you? We are to forgive others, not only in obedience to Scripture but also because forgiveness is an expression of kindness and compassion. Yet this is not the only rationale for forgiveness in Ephesians 4:32.
This verse reads, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” Notice the final phrase, “as God in Christ has forgiven you.” This phrase provides a rationale for forgiveness, a model of forgiveness, and motivation for forgiveness. We could read this verse as saying, “Because God forgives you in Christ, you are to forgive each other.” You are to forgive, not because of your inherent graciousness, nor because the one who wronged you has done something to deserve forgiveness, but because of what God has done for you in Christ. You are to forgive as a response to God’s gracious forgiveness given to you through the cross of Jesus Christ. Why should you forgive others? Because God first forgave you. There’s a solid rationale for forgiveness.
The phrase “just as in Christ God forgave you” also shows us a model of forgiveness. In Ephesians 1:7-8, we read, “In [Christ] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace that he lavished on us.” Similarly, Ephesians 2:4-7 reveals that even when we were dead in our transgressions, God made us alive with Christ “because of his great love for us,” and because God is “rich in mercy,” and because of “the immeasurable riches of [God’s] grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.” Forgiveness flows freely from God’s grace, mercy, and love.
So God models for us what forgiveness looks like. Plus, by forgiving us, God motivates us to forgive others. The more we take in how God has forgiven us in Christ, the more we will be encouraged and empowered to forgive others. The more we let the model of God’s forgiveness in Christ guide us, the more we will want to forgive graciously, mercifully, and lovingly. The more we experience the freedom of God’s forgiveness, the more we will be free to forgive others.
So, one of the most compelling reasons to forgive is the fact that God has forgiven us, thus showing us how we should act toward others and moving us to forgive even as God in Christ has forgiven us.
The church is a place in which forgiveness is practiced regularly.
Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.
The imperative to forgive, found in Ephesians 4:32 as well as other verses in the Bible, speaks to individual Christians. But it also speaks to our Christian communities. Together, we are to be a place in which forgiveness is practiced regularly. That doesn’t mean we ignore or minimize sin. But it does mean that we seek together to follow the example of God in Christ, offering forgiveness to those who have done wrong.
Forgiveness is hard to come by these days, to say the least. When people in the public eye make mistakes, they are instantly savaged on social media and in the press. Increasingly, this kind of viral destruction happens also for those whose private errors catch the attention of Google, Facebook, or Twitter. On these platforms, you almost never hear people offer forgiveness to others or seek forgiveness for their misdoings. You may get canceled for what you’ve done, but good luck having your sins canceled as an act of grace.
Ephesians envisions a very different kind of living for the community of Jesus’s followers. Ephesians 4:32 reads, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.” Of course, this verse speaks to each of us individually, calling us personally to kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Yet we must remember that this verse—like the rest of Ephesians—is not addressed to a single individual, but rather to a community, to the members of the body of Christ, to brothers and sisters in the family of God. You can see this corporate context in the phrases “to one another” and “one another” in verse 32. This verse envisions not just a bunch of separate Christians who forgive but also a forgiven and forgiving community.
Wherever the people of God are joined together, their fellowship should be characterized by forgiveness. This doesn’t mean minimizing sin, by the way. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Forgiveness is needed only when a wrong has been done. So a community of forgiveness isn’t the same as a “make nice” fellowship that overlooks wrongdoing so as to “live and let live.” Rather, in a forgiving community, sin is taken seriously as a precursor to true forgiveness and reconciliation.
Yet a forgiving community also doesn’t focus on sin as an opportunity to judge, condemn, or ostracize those who have done wrong. A forgiving community doesn’t reward the proud who see themselves as less in need of forgiveness than others. Instead, a forgiving community is one in which all members are aware of their failures, in which all realize that they are lost apart from God’s grace, and in which all who have been forgiven by God extend that forgiveness to others who have wronged them.
Throughout my five decades as a Christian, I have seen some churches exemplify this kind of forgiving community. I have also seen some churches demonstrate anything but forgiveness. Our track record as the body of Christ is mixed, to be sure. But, no matter how well or poorly we are doing at the moment, Ephesians 4:32 holds up to us a vision of a forgiven and forgiving community, a family of people who fail as all people inevitably do but who experience a fellowship where failure is not dismissed, but rather where failure is a prelude to forgiveness. Again—let me emphasize—such a community does not minimize the wrongness of sin. Rather, through its practice of forgiveness, it actually encourages people to acknowledge their sin so they might receive the fullness of forgiveness, both from God and from other people.
As we seek to live out the biblical vision of a forgiving community, you and I have the opportunity to shape, not only our churches but also our other communities. In our marriages and families, in our neighborhoods and friendships, in our workplaces and cities, we can choose to forgive as God has forgiven us in Christ, thus creating in the relationships of our lives what God intends for all of his people.
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