Scripture gives us permission to grieve. Though offering plenty of hope and comfort, the Bible provides many examples of godly people expressing their sadness openly and freely.
They heard how I was groaning, with no one to comfort me. All my enemies heard of my trouble; they are glad that you have done it. Bring on the day you have announced, and let them be as I am.
Scripture gives us permission to grieve. Though offering plenty of hope and comfort, the Bible provides many examples of godly people expressing their sadness openly and freely. Even Jesus wept more than once during his messianic ministry. We can give each other permission to grieve, not only through our support but also by weeping with those who weep.
Dr. Lloyd Ogilvie, once said, “Tears are the lubrication of the Holy Spirit.” In his view, there were times when it was appropriate to grieve. In fact, Dr. Ogilvie believed that God would use our grief in deep ways so that we might know even more deeply how much God loved us.
Dr. Ogilvie’s openness to expressions of grief fits the testimony of Scripture, including what we find in Lamentations. In verse 21 of the first chapter, for example, the writer acknowledges: “[People] heard how I was groaning.” The Hebrew word translated as “groaning” refers to the open expression of grief and distress. The writer of Lamentations had not kept his sorrow to himself. Rather, he had expressed it publicly.
To be sure, there are times when we need to be quiet, times when we should sit silently before the Lord in our sadness. Yet, Scripture gives us example after example of godly people who express their grief openly. Most pointedly, we remember that Jesus wept openly at times, such as when he saw the city of Jerusalem (Luke 19:41), or at the tomb of Lazarus (John 11:35). The example of Jesus invites us to experience the fullness of our humanity, entrusting to God all that we are and sharing all of life with each other, both the joys and the sorrows.
A verse in Paul’s letter to the Romans affirms the freedom to grieve, though from a different perspective. Romans 12:15 instructs us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep those who weep.” Not only is it appropriate for people to weep, but also we are to join them in their expressions of sadness.
Certainly, there is a time when we can help those who grieve see their losses from a new perspective. But, in my experience, this sort of reframing of life happens best when the “reframer” has joined the “reframee” in their grief. It also tends to come after an extended period of time in which someone is able to grieve freely.
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