Kindness and gentleness, though countercultural, are virtues God desires to build in us.
Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?
Kindness and gentleness, though countercultural, are virtues God desires to build in us. God calls us to put on these virtues like clothing (Colossians 3:12). In doing so, not only do we reflect God’s kingdom here on earth, and glorify Christ by being like him, but God can also use our kindness and gentleness (more even than our arguing!) to lead others to repentance and knowledge of the truth.
God calls us to put on these virtues like clothing (Colossians 3:12). In doing so, we reflect God’s kingdom here on earth, and we glorify Christ by being like him.
Another more specific reason is that kindness—a trait that manifests gentleness—can lead others to repentance. This is what Paul suggests in Romans 2:4. “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” Although Paul does not explicitly reference “gentleness” here with the same word he uses in Colossians, he does mention “kindness” twice, tying it to patience in a way that suggests the sort of gentleness he writes of in many other places—and which scripture also tells us is a trait of Jesus (2 Corinthians 10:1).
Ponder that! Paul tells us that it is not harshness, arrogance, clever memes, or even great intellectual knowledge and ability to argue that leads one to repentance. Instead, it is patient forbearing kindness that leads one to repentance. And repentance is central in the Christian faith. It is the starting point of a saving relationship with Christ: repenting and believing the good news. It is also an important ongoing aspect of our walk with Christ. Thus we ought to be practicing kindness and gentleness in our interactions both within our church families and with those outside the church. Do you want to see others come to repentance? Then be kind to them.
Now in case one thinks that only the kindness of God matters in leading people to repentance, consider the instructions Paul gives in 2 Timothy 2:24-26. In telling Timothy how to respond to his opponents, he urges him to practice kindness with everyone. He then specifically encourages gentleness as a characteristic of Timothy’s teaching. Timothy should still be concerned with good instruction, and with “a knowledge of the truth.” Paul has just finished warning Timothy—and later will return to more such warnings—that false teaching within the church is harmful. Yet the response must still be one characterized not by quarrelsomeness or harshness, but by kindness and gentleness. Ultimately, Paul points out, Timothy’s arguments aren’t going to bring somebody to repentance; the “hope” is that “God will grant them repentance.”
As I noted, this approach is countercultural. (Consider the number of memes that fly around social media with the point of ridiculing another group or belief. The prevalence of such memes is a poignant example of harshness rather than kindness or gentleness.) I’ve witnessed times when these virtues are lacking even in the church: when church leaders are more concerned with exercising power over those within the church, and ridiculing or treating harshly those outside the church, than with practicing gentleness. What I have not seen is harshness or condemnation leading anybody to repentance.
Thankfully, I’ve also seen many wonderful models of kindness and gentleness being practiced by believers both in their interactions within the church and in interactions with those who don’t share the Christian faith—even with others who are hostile and very ungentle. And those are the examples I have most often seen bear the fruit of repentance. Indeed, gentleness may have the most profound witness when it is a response to hostility and harshness. So put off harshness, and put on gentleness and kindness like clothing. It may help point others toward the kindness of Christ, and in doing so help lead them to repentance.
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