How the Internet Started (according to the Bible)...

How the Internet Started (according to the Bible)...

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com

did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, Large of breast, broad of shoulder

and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far

from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever

leaving thy tent?"

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddlebags

short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in

between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will

reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on

the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with

the drums.

And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all

the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were

saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It

was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed

a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy

horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical

Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the

the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were

going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who

bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on

drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads

and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken

over by others."

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."

And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators."

"YAHOO," said Abraham.

And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic

Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to

locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating

Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.