How might we as leaders learn to carry our own load?
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Each one should carry their own load.
How might we as leaders learn to carry our own load?
“Teach us to care and not to care.” The famous conversion poem of the English poet, T.S. Eliot.
The first part of Eliot’s memorable phrase reminds us that the Christian faith challenges human beings to care about one another. In today’s biblical text, the Apostle Paul calls us to love others in the same way that Jesus’ loved the world. In the specific context of his letter to the Galatians, this means being willing to bear other people’s failures and to help them in their restoration (6:1). “In this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
But surprisingly, and as the latter part of Eliot’s quote suggests, Paul also emphasizes the importance of each person carrying their own burden, “their own load.” So how do we reconcile the tension between dealing with other people’s burdens and our own? And how do we address the distinctive challenge of leadership, where we are, in many cases, responsible for the burdens others carry? To turn Eliot’s phrase, how do we learn to carry and not to carry the burden of others?
To begin with, it’s helpful to think about the word “burden” itself. Instinctively for me at least, the word brings up negative images, suggesting something that weighs people down in a bad way. That’s certainly one-way “burden” is meant in Scripture, as for example, when people’s sins are described as a burden that they must carry.
Nevertheless, “burden” can also refer to something good that is substantive and therefore “weighty.” That’s how Paul uses the same word found in our text today when he talks about our suffering: “For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure” (2 Corinthians 4:17 NRSV, emphasis mine). Paradoxically then our burdens can be both negative and a positive thing. That is important as we think about how we relate as leaders to our own and to other’s burdens.
In these reflections, I want to consider three questions from a leadership perspective: (1) What burdens are we to carry for ourselves? (2) What burdens are we to carry for others? and (3) What about the burdens that we place on others?
To begin with, there are the burdens that are ours to carry alone. The worlds in which I work as a leader have seen a significant movement towards more participative leadership. For the most part, that’s been a good thing and one that reflects the importance and dignity of the people we lead. However, our evolving commitment toward a more egalitarian style of leadership may obscure the importance of the responsibility that belongs to (and must be carried by) certain individuals or small groups who are called to serve the community through their leadership. That is a “burden” that is theirs alone to carry.
So, what might that burden consist of and how might we benefit those we serve by carrying it? I can think of at least three practical examples:
First, while group discernment – usually done by seeking out many differing perspectives – is almost always helpful, decision-making is a more solitary act for those in leadership. Confusing the two can lead to organizational turmoil, if not paralysis, which serves everyone badly. This is especially true when decisions are difficult.
Second, the role of leaders is to help organizations focus and not become distracted. In every institution I’ve been a part of, there are always many competing things – many good things – that vie for the attention of those we lead. And attention is not only the currency of leadership but also the currency of everyone in an organization. Focusing people’s attention on what is important is a particular burden for leaders to carry to help avoid organizational dissipation.
Finally, especially in times of uncertainty, providing clarity is an essential responsibility for leaders. As Max De Pree famously said, the first task of leadership is to define reality. Providing that kind of clarity can take many forms. Even simply clarifying expectations of how certain decisions will be made, i.e., who has the responsibility for making which decisions, is helpful for defining the reality of how an organization is to function together.
Providing focus and clarity, and when necessary, making courageous decisions are all aspects of the unique burden of leadership. Serving others well means owning those responsibilities ourselves for the sake of the well-being of those we lead.
More on carrying each other’s burdens
Leadership is about relationships. What complicates leadership relationships is that leaders require something of their followers. Implicit or explicit in the relationship is some responsibility that the follower accepts from the leader. This is true whether we are talking about employee-employer, student-teacher, or volunteer-volunteer leader relationships, to name just a few.
As leaders in those contexts, we face a dual challenge. How are we to deal with the tension of carrying our own responsibilities and of carrying the responsibility for those we lead?
So, how might we as leaders learn to carry the burdens of others?
I grew up with the business leadership maxim, “It’s not personal, it’s business.”
I find that dichotomy unhelpful. Of course, business (and leadership more generally) is personal. After all, businesses consist of people and relationships. Nevertheless, the maxim has a ring of truth in it since business (and leadership) can become too personal. It is possible to carry other people’s burdens in an unhelpful way.
There has been much written recently about the importance of empathy and vulnerability in leadership. It’s worth noting that these qualities are deeply rooted in the character of God as demonstrated in Jesus Christ. Learning to care about others, and not to just treat them as a means to accomplish what we want, is distinctively God-like leadership, whether one acknowledges that or not. At the same time, there is a considerable body of modern psychological literature about the importance of developing personal boundaries and learning to “differentiate” ourselves from other people. Again, while not always acknowledged, it is worth noting that these insights also have their roots in the Christian tradition.
As leaders, learning to carry other people’s burdens involves a balance of empathy and detachment, of entering into their burden without feeling the obligation to solve people’s problems for them. In many ways, that is more difficult than either taking over people’s burdens or ignoring them entirely. I often find it’s easier to “check out” rather than to remain engaged with the issues others face. But part of carrying my “own load” as a leader is neither to be indifferent towards nor to over-manage those I lead. That too is part of the art of leadership.
But what about the burdens that we as leaders put on others?
Max De Pree said that the responsibility of leaders is to carry pain rather than to inflict pain. It has struck me as odd that some Christian leaders and some Christian organizations seem to impose a burden on others that they themselves seem unwilling to bear. Much like the Pharisees that Jesus confronted about their leadership practice, it is possible for us to “load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and (we ourselves) will not lift one finger to help them”
(Luke 11:46b).
As a practical example, we can confuse delegation with abdication. While we can delegate authority and responsibility, we can’t as leaders abdicate our ultimate accountability. For me, that means that we must not only delegate to but also empower and equip people whom we serve to be able to “carry their own load.” Of course, in a fallen world, there will be situations when people can’t or won’t do what is needed. Nevertheless, one of our fundamental tasks as leaders is – to the best of our abilities – to makes sure they are set up for success.
In that regard, I find it intriguing that Jesus characterized the burden that he places on his follower as being “light” (Matthew 11:30). From one point of view, given Jesus’ picture of discipleship as being a journey to a Roman cross, that seems incongruous. But perhaps, it reminds us that Jesus empowers and equips us for our discipleship, and, more importantly, shares that load with and in us. And it reminds me that leadership doesn’t shrink from challenging others (and ourselves!) by setting high expectations. Certainly, nothing could be higher than the one Jesus himself set for all his followers.
Still, it’s easy for us to make things unnecessarily burdensome for those who follow us, as people have done throughout Church history. Thankfully, there is a wonderful example of how to lead well from the earliest days recorded in the book of Acts. In that account, the Jerusalem church met to consider what practices the Gentile followers of Christ would be obligated to follow. After much debate, they said this: “It has seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to impose on you no further burden than these essentials…” (Acts 15:28 NRSV, emphasis mine).
“No further burden than these essentials.” That’s a helpful way to think about what burdens we ask those we lead to carry. May we go and do likewise.
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