Getting away with your spouse is a vital part of keeping things renewed and fresh. There’s just something special that happens when you leave your normal routines in favor of deepening your friendship with each other. This means taking time to intentionally disconnect from your everyday world and reconnect with your life partner. I strongly believe that getting away should be a regular (at least monthly) occurrence in marriages; here’s why…
Selena and I have found much solace in getting away throughout our marriage. Often, we simply get in the car and just drive. We don’t always know exactly where we’re going, we just get out and explore. During the drive, we make it a point to talk and dream. Often, this talking starts with arguing about something that was just beneath the surface – but being in the car driving 60+ mph means we have to sit there and work through it! No Plan B, no escape routes… right?
Essentially, this is what ‘getting away’ does. It puts you and your wife/husband face to face where you can connect without distraction.
Why getting away with your spouse is (very) important
Selena and I have busy lives, like many of you. Jobs, tasks, routines, kids (!!), and everything else that sucks up our time can end up leaving us both starved for good, quality time together. Keyword: quality. The funny thing is, even our ‘relaxation’ time ends up draining us of deep connection if we sit in front of the TV or spend time surfing the internet—Facebook, news, YouTube—you know what I’m talking about.
If we’re not careful, months can go by and we haven’t done anything meaningful or memorable together. Then when the year is past, we look back and wonder what happened, something just feels half-baked about what we did.
Getting away is important because it re-centers our relationship and refreshes our hearts.
What getting away actually does
You’ve probably heard of “fasting”. If you haven’t, it means you stop doing something for a while (ex. eating) to reset yourself. For followers of Christ, fasting is an act of worship. For health buffs, fasting is a way to cleanse your palette and reset your metabolism. For others, it’s a way to protest and abstain from behavior you know is destructive (ever heard of someone ‘fasting’ or ‘leaving’ Facebook for a while?).
Think of getting away with your spouse as a way of ‘fasting’ or cleansing your relationship from distractions.
Getting away with your spouse effectively:
Isolates you and your spouse from the world, just for a few moments. This allows you to communicate honestly and fully without distraction.
Allows you to create new experiences and memories together, thus adding depth to your history Removes you from everyday distractions and lifts your thinking.
Allows you to have fun together and build your friendship Helps you put the ‘quality’ back in your quality time.
Gives you time to dream without boundaries and seek agreement on your life direction.
Gives you a springboard to seek God’s vision and His call on your marriage (and provides a time for you to pray about it together).
This list is just the beginning. The key is to realize that getting away allows ample opportunity to truly partner with your spouse and strengthen your bond.
Tips for getting away together
Please keep in mind that there isn’t a template for ‘getting away’. For us, it’s usually spur of the moment and simple. We will wake up one Saturday morning and say “Let’s go to the coast today” and simply do it. (The coast is a 2-hour drive for us). Then we just spend time kicking through the surf, grabbing lunch, playing, and just talking.
Some of our friends prefer the mountains, others prefer a new restaurant. The key is finding an easy way to retreat from normal life with the core intention of being close to your spouse.
Tools We Use for Affordable Adventures
Flights
Kayak.com (navigate to Kayak.com/explore for a real treat… it’s our favorite way to travel opportunistically)
Google.com/Flights (fast, easy flight search with lots of ways to filter)
ScottsCheapFlights.com (our “secret weapon”. We’ve saved $1000+ on flights in the past year alone)
Lodging
Priceline.com (use their negotiator tool for hotels and car rentals)
Car Rentals
Turo.com (Rent cars from individuals. We love this one!
CarRentals.com (For traditional car rentals, price competitiveness varies.)
Camping and ‘staycations”
HipCamp.com (Camp off the beaten path.
PassportAmerica.com (Discounts on camping around the country.)
Activities
Groupon.com (Find fun things to do in new cities with very deep discounts.)
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